Recovering from Setbacks

In coaching, playing, and even in life, setback will happen. Although a setback such as a loss may kill momentum, remember that with a positive attitude and unrelenting work ethic it is only temporary. You have the ability to not let it keep the ball from rolling! Here are three tips for getting back in the saddle after a deflating setback from Success Magazine’s weekly E-newsletter.

Step One: Pout or Punch. Do What You Have to Do to Feel Better.

Allow yourself to be an utter mess, SUCCESS columnist Mel Robbins says. “I gripe. I cry. I feel insecure. I punch the wall. I exercise. Then, it’s out of my system and it’s over,” she says.

Take the time you need to process what happened. Whether it’s life-altering like a layoff or an unforeseen obstacle in a big project, it’s okay. Really. Accepting the setback is an important step toward moving forward. It’s one more thing you can put in the “I know not to do that next time” column.

[My wife will argue this one with me until the cows come home! We all have a “grieving process” that we need to go through. I put a limit on mine. I do not allow myself to be upset once a new day begins. 12 O’clock midnight and I’m on to the next game/day/practice/etc.

I think this is important for us to understand as coaches in regards to our players. They, too, have their ways of dealing with setbacks. While I don’t condone destroying property, I do try to keep in mind that they may need some space and/or time after a hard fought gut wrenching loss.]

Step Two: You’ve Got to Move It (Move It)

Pardon the maddening tune, but the next step to recovery is taking action. Any action. Write down your proudest accomplishments and remember how you achieved them. Journaling your accomplishments will help you realize how powerful you really are. Recognizing your power, you can move forward confidently without second-guessing your every step.

[This is simply remembering where your strengths lie and what they are. Another great lesson for the players on your team. A sniff of success however small can trigger greater successes in them.]

Step Three: What’s the Takeaway?

From every misstep, there’s a lesson learned or a key takeaway that you can apply to your next project. So think on two levels—literally and figuratively. What’s the literal lesson from what happened and what larger, overarching principle can be taken from this experience? View your challenges positively. Easier said than done, but just thinking to yourself, “Okay, it can only get better now” is the kind of positive affirmation you need.

[This is why we watch film. It is why we keep practice plans. Analyzing what went wrong. Recognizing it. Instructing our players on how to correct it. Perfecting the proper way of execution through repetition. The mindset has got to be on improvement and the environment has got to be free of egos and negativity.]

You Are A Player When...

You are a player when:

1. You don't care if you are the one who sets the screen or the one who hits the winning three, because fulfilling your role, whatever that role is, is most important.

2. You have a desire to excel for the benefit of the TEAM.

3. You have an unquenchable need to exceed past your limitations.

4. You play and know, without a shadow of doubt, that you competed like a champion.

5. You understand your commitment to your teammates.

6. You understand that basketball is a TEAM sport.

7. You finish playing and only your body leaves the floor; your heart and soul are captured within the game.

8. You will exchange your blood, sweat, and tears for the benefit of the TEAM.

9. You understand the irrelevance of individual awards.

10. You would rather encourage a teammate to success than benefit personally from his mistakes.

11. Your respect for the game and those involved in the game outweighs your personal pride.

12. You make mistakes and use them to learn from and improve rather than use them as excuses.

13. Your ability to make your teammates better increases each time you take to the floor.

14. You do the little things right even when nobody is watching.

15. You act to serve your teammates with unselfish motives.

16. You have a clear understanding of your role and strive to perform it better.

17. You have done all that you can and still fell that you can contribute more.

18. You know the difference between pain and injury; playing through the pain without creating a scene.

19. You give more than what is asked and take less than what is deserved.

20. Your effort is constant and your play is consistent regardless of the situation.

YOU THINK YOU CAN... AND YOU DO!!!

Things You Did Not Learn in School - From Don Meyer

My wife just started her first year as a full-time teacher this school year. She is teaching 6th grade at a local middle school. One of the school policies is that students are allowed to turn in assignments late and still earn full credit. There is also a re-test policy that students can improve any major test grade. What is that actually teaching these young people?

I have had players that have a tremendous sense of entitlement. These players have it in their head that they deserve special treatment or playing time and the like. It is my belief that they have been enabled by people of influence, be it coaches, parents, or in the case of my wife's students, their schools.

So digging through some old coaching notes, I found a great handout from Coach Meyer that speaks to this. I will be posting this in every single one of the University of Dallas men's basketball player's lockers:

To the High School/College Graduate:

Things You Did Not Learn in School

1. Life is not fair - get used to it.
2. The world won't care about your self esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
3. You will not make $100,000 a year right out of school. You won't be a vice-president with a company car until you earn both.
4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.
5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - They called it opportunity.
6. If you screw up, it is not your parents' fault so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7. Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning your room, and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are - so before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
8. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades. They will give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.
9. Life is not divided into semesters, you don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
10. Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go get jobs.
11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you will end up working for nerds.
12. Smoking does not make you look cool; it makes you look moronic. And ditto for purple hair, pierced body parts, and tattoos.
13. Living fast and dying young is romantic, only until you see one of your friends at room temperature.
14. Get up when you fall down.